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STANLEY -- Thomas "Tan" Edward Stanley IV, 33, died Thursday, November 17, 2005, in his truck. He died because he shot himself in the head. This came as a shock to all who knew Tan as the loving, sweet, kind, gentle, positive, wonderful man he was. He is survived by his adored and adoring wife, Lindsay (formerly Gunther); his mother, Savenia "Venia" Stanley, and her partner, Al Clarfield, of Rio Rancho; his father, Thomas "Tad" Edward Stanley III, and his wife, Heidi, of Albuquerque; his sister, Tina of El Paso, TX and her daughter, Tan's niece, Noelle; his sister, Deena of San Antonio, TX and her son, Tan's nephew, Roy; and numerous loving uncles, aunts, cousins and in-laws. Tan was born August 19, 1972 in Albuquerque and was a 1990 graduate of Sandia High School. He worked with his father at Stanleys' Cabinet and Floor, where he was a gifted craftsman, hard worker, and light to all. Tan's passions were his family, his tools, and his future. He dreamed of having babies (a boy we would call Petey, but whose full name would be Thomas Edward Stanley V). He dreamed of owning an old house that we would nurse to health together. He dreamed of someday having to put an addition on our house so our mothers could live with us, because he wouldn't let our mothers, whom we love so dearly, live anywhere else in their old age. We joked that I would be a quirky old lady who wore Band-Aids for fun, and he would be an angry old man who would yell at kids who tried to pick apples from our apple tree. He appreciated the past, mourned the death of everything old fashioned, and saw beauty in our imperfections. And he trusted people who didn't deserve it. Tan was adored by everyone who really knew him. He treated everyone with kindness, always polite, caring, and sincere. He touched so many lives and so much pain exists because of his death. How do we go on? Tan was a loyal, honest, good man. He truly believed that he loved deeper than other people. Maybe he did. He didn't know if it was a gift or a curse to love so deeply, but Tan wanted to die instead of face the possibility of losing his family that he loved dearly. As a final note Tan and his niece "Noey" , not yet five, shared a special bond that even though he is gone shall never be broken. Please join us Monday, November 21, 2005 at 9:00 a.m. at French Mortuary, Lomas Chapel, 10500 Lomas Blvd. NE for a memorial service, and please plan to share your thoughts and remembrances with us. The family will remain available until 1:00 p.m. In lieu of flowers, please donate to Cuidando Los Ninos, P.O. Box 12786, Albuquerque 87195 to provide care for homeless infants, toddlers and preschoolers. French Mortuary 10500 Lomas Blvd. NE 275-3500
        Published on: Sun November 20, 2005